so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
