I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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