he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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