somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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