I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
