what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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