Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
