Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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