I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
