look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
