You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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