Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
