4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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