I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're like the curious george of whores
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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