Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
