wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
