Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
