Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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