She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
