She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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