It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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