i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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