i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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