I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm really busy with my period
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