How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
