Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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