i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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