I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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