i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
