I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
