just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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