Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
