In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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