i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
