I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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