Im at strip club and am horny
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
