I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
