very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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