hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
