She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
