just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
