Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
