is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
