So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
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The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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