were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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