just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
