His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
