Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
