I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
