She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize