Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize