Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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