I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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