Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
