I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm like, not good at living.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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