WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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