Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
