you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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