I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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