I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my being single is dangerous.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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