How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
