Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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