It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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